About a month ago I discovered that my vitamin D level is very low. When you say very low sometimes you get that reaction where people are like “you’re being dramatic, how low is low?” and then when you tell them that you came out about 3 numbers short of “insufficient” they are like “oh, yeah..you should do something about that.” Apparently with vitamin D levels, among other random levels of things in our bodies, there is a sufficient category, insufficient category, and a deficient. I somehow managed to get myself into the deficient area. In hindsight this makes sense because I work an office job with no windows and don’t really like to drink milk.
Turns out when you are in the deficient category and start researching to order yourself a vitamin D supplement (while convincing yourself that it will not sit lonely on the shelf next to your multivitamins that you never take…maybe another problem?) the doctor calls and tells you to pick up the prescription they called in for an 8 week round of a hefty vitamin D doses. I realized the little supplements I was researching were not going to cut it because you literally cannot buy this amount on the shelf.
I try not to Dr. Google because it usually sends me down an anxiety rabbit hole of panic. Why does every symptom you ever search for seem to come up with either something very mild or cancer? Why so extreme? Anyways, since the doctor had confirmed this I decided to look it up. I was amazed that I pretty much had all of the symptoms that Dr. Google listed for vitamin D deficiency. Muscle aches, extreme fatigue and tiredness, hair loss, increased depression, and so on. Let me just tell you that losing an obnoxious amount of hair on the day to day and being so fatigued that some Saturdays you wake up for an hour or so and physically have to go back to bed is scary. Even getting an appropriate amount of sleep was not cutting it.
As of today I have had 5 weeks of the 8 before I go get my level tested again. I do think that it is helping. While some days I still struggle I was super excited when I finally had a Saturday that I felt like I got up on my own terms and had a productive day. I even managed to go sit at a coffee shop and finish reading a book that I was enjoying. The struggle I have with finishing books is a blog for another time.
I think the point of all of this is that sometimes when you are not feeling well it is easy to chalk it up to being your anxiety/depression. There are so many things that seem to overlap or can appear to be symptoms that arise simply because of the stress my body is taking on at that given time. It can be hard because you get used to that and have to fight the internal argument of whether or not to make the doctor’s appointment.
I don’t want to go if it is just related to the depression/anxiety. That is embarrassing and frustrating. It truly gives you that “it’s all in your head feeling” as well as feeling bad that your coping mechanisms aren’t quite doing enough because it is impacting your body in this way.
On the other hand, if I do not make the appointment, what if I am missing something? What if there is a simple fix for some of these things such as taking a vitamin D supplement?
In this particular situation I was glad that I made the appointment and tried to lay it all out for her despite feeling that I may just get a response that connects it all to the stress. This time I did stumble upon something that was definitely making me feel bad and assured me that it is something that I can change. I had been so upset because the amount of fatigue was crazy and I wasn’t feeling “so down” that I felt I should be that tired. It wasn’t making sense which in turn was causing more stress.
So while I finish up the big guns and hope that my level becomes “sufficient” I also realize it likely means that I will have to start being more adamant about incorporating a daily supplement into my routine. I am really bad at that and absolutely hate setting alarm reminders on my phone (drives me crazy) but if the alternative is drinking more milk I will suck it up with the reminders. I am certainly not drinking more milk. That stuff is gross. You can ask my husband. I could be eating a big bowl of fruity pebbles or something equally sweet and bad for you and I would still not drink the remaining milk in the bowl.